New DUCKblind Podcast Episode


Andrea and Jill recording the interview.

Andrea and Jill recording the interview.

In addition to producing a show for Austin Enneagram, I also occasionally record an interview for Jill at grayDUCK Gallery, here in Austin, TX. The episodes are to help promote the current exhibition and give people who have already seen the show or who want to visit the gallery, some extra context, and info about the art and artists. As with the other shows I produce, I capture the interview, edit and add music, write and organize the descriptions, and make sure it is published correctly to all platforms. With both shows, I also created the cover art and take pictures during the recordings for social media promotion.

Interview with Andrea Mellard. Crit Group Artists: Annie Arnold, Rakhee Jain Desai, Lydia Garcia, Sean Ripple, Alexandra Robinson, Saul Jerome E. San Juan, Michael Stephen, and Cheyenne Weaver

The Contemporary Austin's Crit Group 2020

  • grayDUCK Gallery

  • Exhibition dates: November 14 - December 13, 2020

  • Gallery Hours by appointment


Down the Rabbit Hole

This isn’t exactly an internet rabbit hole I’m talking about. Much better than that. It happened this way.

I’ve been following The Tim Ferriss Show for many years and it’s one of my favorite podcasts. The other day I listened to Tim talk with author Mary Karr, who I really didn’t know at all, and found her delightful. Very funny and straightforward. She is someone that would be great fun to hang out with I suspect. And even though we both grew up in Texas, based on what I heard she had a much different experience than I did.

Growing up in Austin is not like growing up in a small east Texas town it seems. Mary’s parent’s style of fighting and raising kids, shared in the interview and book, reminded me of what Matthew McConaughey said about his childhood in Greenlights.

The Art of Memoir
By Karr, Mary

Turns out Mary is pretty well known and she wrote a book called The Art of Memoir and is a teacher. Since I’m creating this blog to get better at writing, and it is somewhat of a memoir at times, it seemed like a book I would like. What’s wonderful is sometimes when I go to find a book on Libby at the library it’s available! Then I don’t have to wait and can start it right then.

In that book, Mary speaks very highly of and read excerpts from Richard Wright’s Black Boy. That book was also available! As soon as I finished Karr’s book I started Wright’s. And who knows where it will go next. So good.

One silver lining to the fact that I have a job driving 20+ hours a week is that I can listen to a lot of books. This week while following this train of content, I had a moment of excitement about life I’d like to share. Think about all of the books, and people, and places, and things there are to experience and learn about! I hope I can fit all that I desire to pursue, into whatever time I have left. It gives me a lot of optimism and joy to consider all the possibilities. What gets you excited about life?


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National Trails

Are you aware that there is a system of 1000’s of miles of trails all over the United States? The Appalachian is probably the most famous but there is so much more. While planning my drive to Florida for Thanksgiving I discovered a brochure for the Florida National Scenic Trail and there I saw a map similar to the one above with many more routes than I knew existed.

My first thought was what it would be like to hike them all! What diverse landscapes you would see, a thorough survey of this whole country. Since my camping trip last weekend, I have been wondering how I can spend more time in nature. It brings me a lot of joy to hike and bird watch and identify trees and plants. Why not make it a priority?

Click the map for a larger version! The National Trails System Act of 1968 helped to establish and promote the development and healthy uses of trails by all.

Click the map for a larger version! The National Trails System Act of 1968 helped to establish and promote the development and healthy uses of trails by all.


Veterans Day

This photo is one of a series of small aged prints that were in an old shoebox I inherited from my grandfather. He was in the 97th Infantry in WWII and I believe someone in his group was a photographer who made copies of the set and distributed them. There are 100 numbered photos and luckily a deteriorating typed list of names, dates, and locations. Eventually, I would like to scan them all and share the images online for those interested in the history of that war and this specific unit. What must it have been like to be one of these soldiers? Months or years of life and death situations in foreign countries, far from home.

Traveling through Germany towards the end of the war in April 1945.

Traveling through Germany towards the end of the war in April 1945.

Both of my grandfathers and my father were in the Army. None of them spoke much about their wars. I can only imagine what they went through. Now that they are all gone I wish I had pressed them more for their histories and experiences.

My paternal grandfather was a medic in WWII and told me of helping German soldiers and having them offer him gifts in return. He did not accept any. As a kid, I thought that was crazy, especially since I was such a collector and loved old stuff. He was part of a proud generation who would not accept or borrow anything from anyone. My maternal grandfather never spoke about WWII at all.

One of the few stories my Dad shared about Vietnam involved him waking up late and saving a lot of people as a result. It was his turn to drive the transport truck that took everyone to where they worked. He slept in that morning. As they were coming over the hill and could see their destination, it was hit with missiles or some kind of bombs and exploded right in front of them. If they had been on time they would have been dead. Unfortunately, his exposure to chemicals while in-country could have contributed to him developing Lou Gehrig’s disease later in life. The war might have ended up killing him after all, just 47 years after the fact.

I’m very grateful for the sacrifices of all veterans, those still alive and those no longer with us. Thank you.


New Austin Enneagram Episode

Just produced a new episode for Elizabeth and Leigh over at Austin Enneagram. What that first means is I met with them and their guests to record a conversation. My goal and responsibility with any production is to make sure that I capture the best audio possible so an episode can be created and shared with the world. Once we have the recording, I then edit and tighten it up to create a more succinct and articulate version, worth of any listener’s time. Finally, I add the podcast to their website and write a summary along with tweaking all of the back end settings that make it broadcast properly and look professional.

If you’ve ever thought about having your own podcast, but don’t have the time or inclination to buy all the equipment, and deal with the technical learning curve, let me know. Learn more by checking out my post from October 20th all about it.


Pickling on Purpose

Not sure why it took me so long to start pickling as a regular practice, but I am so glad I have. Refrigerator pickles are easy, and with all of the veggies I get from the farm where I work, it helps as a way to utilize and preserve many of them. The trick that is working is to start with the recipe written out on an index card, with the standard amounts needed to fill one Ball wide mouth 32-ounce quart jar. From there I can calculate for multiple jars easily in my head. I pull out the card and set it on my window ledge. No need to search on my phone and deal with a bunch of ads and long drawn out explanations. 

It reminds me of my grandmother and her recipe card box that she would pull out when she wanted to make something. I find that the more analog practices I add to my life, the more balanced I feel, because I know I will be spending a fair amount of time on my phone no matter what. Did the same for a hummus recipe and now I make it every week. Winning!


Fridge pickled peppers, beets, and cucumbers.


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Weekend at the Coast

This weekend I traveled down to the gulf coast of Texas with a friend to do some camping. The choice of where to stay was mostly dictated by the popularity and lack of availability of almost all of the campsites in the whole state. It’s a beautiful time of year to be out of doors. We settled on Lake Corpus Christi State Park, which only had a few spaces left. It would not have been my first choice but it worked out wonderfully and I’m so glad to have expanded my view of how nice the Texas coast can be.

The Corpus Christi downtown bay-front as seen from a deteriorating barrier wall around the marina.

The state park was great and allowed us a home base to explore the city of Corpus Christi and pay a visit to the Padre Island National Sea Shore. The weather was perfect and it was fortuitous to be away from home and outdoors when the election results came in. We watched Biden’s speech at our camp picnic table with a nice fire going. And it was easy to look up and see a hint of the Milky Way, some planets, and lots of stars. All of the other campers were well behaved, which made it very relaxing.

Malaquite Beach at the Padre Island National Sea Shore.

Malaquite Beach at the Padre Island National Sea Shore.

Miles of dunes covered in flowering plants along the beach.

Miles of dunes covered in flowering plants along the beach.

After living in Texas for over 30 years of my life, I lament the fact that I have only been to the coast a very few times. Growing up in central Texas I just never heard anything nice about it. In high school, Padre was the hedonistic spring break destination, which I never participated in. Then you hear about oil spills and the like and it just never sounded that appealing.

Well, I was absolutely impressed with the nature and beaches that I saw and wish now I had made more frequent trips. One thing I love is birding, and at the state park, I saw three gorgeous birds, that you would only see at the southern tip of Texas and into Mexico. The tropical Great Kiskadee and Green Jay, plus an uncommon Audubon’s Oriole. So colorful and exciting to behold!

There aren’t a lot of photos to share since my intention was to mostly stay off my phone and just have an experience. It’s interesting being a photographer because people often assume you will prioritize capturing the most amazing images wherever you go. Maybe some do, but I was just happy to get out into nature and look, listen, breathe, and be. I highly recommend it.


$14 Billion


Heard on the news today that almost $14 billion was spent on the 2020 election by both sides. That just seems like a sickeningly large amount of money directed purely at gaining political power. Who is the beneficiary of all that money? The political advertisers are the real winners. Imagine if all that election money had been spent instead on stimulus, infrastructure, poverty, education, or anything else other than an election. What do we really have to show for it all?

I’ve also heard a lot of talk about how one candidate didn’t spend as much money in a certain state, and that’s why they didn’t do as well. That makes me wonder is it that easy to manipulate people just by putting yourself in front of them? More ads on the television or Facebook. To me, that doesn’t speak to a populace of informed and critical thinkers. That sounds like people who are easily swayed one way or the other by their television or someone knocking on their door. Sounds passive and mindless, but maybe I’m wrong.

All that money was spent, and now we have most of the same people in office and a few new ones. How does that really help everyone else in their everyday lives?

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

My Current Morning Routine

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Many of the podcasts I have listened to and books I have read talk about all the benefits of having specific habits to start your day. It’s not always easy to be consistent every morning but I do my best. It does seem to make a difference.

My first goal is ideally to get my body moving, so I stretch and exercise as soon as I get up. Once I am warmed up I sit down to read. I’ll speak to each text and why I like them.

This quote by The Dalai Lama is I find a good place to start. Beginning the day with the gratitude that you even woke up is I think a great practice and mindset.

Then I read over The Four Agreements, which come from a book of Toltec wisdom that has been very helpful for me on a daily basis. I will write a blog post breaking down why I like that book soon and elaborate on my view for each agreement.

The Book of Awakening - This is a daily reader that I have cycled through many times. Each new year Mark’s words resonate with me in different ways. I attribute that to being I hope a different person than I was a year ago. I’ve given this book to dozens of people as a gift and it’s always appreciated.

The Language of Letting Go - Melody’s book is a new addition this year and so far I’ve found it very helpful. Codependency has a lot of aspects that I think are good to keep an eye on.

Awareness - Anthony really tells it straight and his message is sometimes tough to take but it still rings true to me. One chapter each day. Recommended by Tim Ferriss.

The Celtic Spirit - As I mentioned a few days ago, this book gives me a daily dose of Celtic wisdom which I find interesting, having some Scots-Irish ancestry.

Daily Affirmations For Adult Children of Alcoholics - Sounds like an intense book right? Looking a few generations back in my family, I see no alcoholics, but I’m guessing the personal challenges that emerge from that kind of family life, manifest similarly in other dynamics and situations. I appreciate many of the affirmations, and can easily see past the alcoholic family references.

Next, I journal. If anything I just read stands out to me or triggers an urge to expand on an idea, I will start my journal that way. Otherwise, I just share whatever is on my mind for 1-3 pages in a 88 cent college ruled composition book.

The last thing I do before going on with the rest of my day is to meditate for 20 minutes. Vipassana is the style I practice, learned on a 10-day silent retreat 3 or 4 years ago. I find it a great way to get very in tune with my body and my reactions. I’ll share more about the experience of that retreat in a blog post at some point. That’s about it. How important is a morning routine for you?


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Uneven Terrain

This pictured sign on the Barton Creek Greenbelt struck me as more than a warning along a hiking trail in the woods. When I saw it this morning my thought was it also could be a way to view life. Being alive and moving forward, we are all going to experience uneven terrain. Ups and downs are to be expected.

Should we fear and avoid the challenges and bumps along our path, or instead be mindful of where we tread and take each obstacle as an opportunity for growth? What do you think?

To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad.
— Practicing the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
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Two Weeks In

Up, up and away, daily trying to figure out what to say.

Up, up and away, daily trying to figure out what to say.

What kind of daily creative practice do you have and how has that changed your life?

Two weeks ago I committed to writing everyday and posting whatever I create on my website blog. I’m happy to report it’s going well and is even surprisingly exciting. It may be early to share any results, but I have started to realize some things.

The value of daily creative practice - Reminds me of the routine of an Austin artist who has been on my podcast, Austin Art Talk. Charles Heppner puts a priority on painting and writing every day. It seems consistency is important if you want to make progress and defy the blocked times of doubt and fear. Here is something I wrote about him at the time of his interview. “Years of making work along with daily creative discipline and a journaling practice have given him the confidence to ask better questions to explore through his art and at the same time not be attached to finding an answer. Give up control and follow your heart.”

Letting go - Feels similar in a way to morning pages which is one of the tasks in The Artist’s Way that I have always liked. You just do it, ideally without much judgment, and in the case of my blog, publish it and move on. It’s just not possible to spend time tweaking and editing each post indefinitely. This has been very hard for me because I want every post to be as good as possible. Even down to how it visually looks on the page, sometimes putting a lot of effort into tweaking all the elements very minutely. Just keep moving forward!

Clarifying and expanding my thoughts and connections - It’s easy to have an idea or see a connection in your head and leave it at that. Taking the time to write and share about it in a way that makes sense can be a lot of work. For me, there is sometimes resistance to putting in that effort. Most of the time it ends up being worth every minute. 

The compounding interest of creation - I’d like to think when you create consistently over a long period of time that it adds up to something greater and can foster new opportunities. You discipline yourself to do the work and once it’s out in the world who knows what might happen or who might see it. I feel very optimistic about that aspect of this challenge.  

Writing is fun - Language and words are just so interesting to work with and craft. Expressing a theory, sharing a story, or just writing a poem. It’s something I am liking more than I anticipated and that is a very good thing when you need to do it every day. 


Samhain (SOW'en)

One of the books that I typically read every morning is The Celtic Spirit. Found at a thrift store, one of my favorite ways to discover new books, it satisfies that part of me who wants a connection to my Scots-Irish ancestry by getting a daily dose of sacred Celtic wisdom. The surname Gordon has a lot of origins but the one I’ve researched the most is the connection to Scotland, which I love learning more about.

The reading for Oct 31st talks about the festival of Samhain, which I always thought was pronounced like it’s spelled, but far from it. SOW’en is closer to the correct way and I’m glad to have learned that. The gist of Caitlin’s passage is that historically today was more about the start of winter and remembering our ancestors through a communal honoring.

Samhain was a liminal time in which the world of the living and the ancestral realms overlapped. This was a time for the remembrance of the dead.
— The Celtic Sprit by Caitlin Matthews

Somehow that has turned into ghouls and zombies and dressing up like a Star Wars character. Since I hardly ever dress up and don’t have kids, I think I will simply light a candle tonight and think about those who came before me. They didn’t sacrifice someone else, to appease an evil deity in some horror movie. They actually sacrificed their blood, sweat, and tears to create lives that supported the propagation of our species. It’s amazing we’re all here. I feel fortunate and want to make the most of this time. I suspect their wisdom and guidance persists and I’ll be listening.


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Sometimes...


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Sometimes it feels like I’m alone in a city full of thousands of people.

Sometimes it looks like everyone has blinders on and they don’t want to acknowledge I exist.

Sometimes I scroll through my contacts and I can’t decide who to reach out for.

Sometimes I find myself in a black hole of non-response after sending out many messages.

And sometimes I question the point of all this.

But most of the time, everything is perfect and I’m grateful to be alive.


The diptych above is from a series of images taken while living in NYC that will eventually be a book.


Strong and Wrong!

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Back in the middle of August I turned 46 and decided this year I would spend my birthday paying a few local friends a visit. At a distance of course. It was a simple proactive plan and I really enjoyed the day. My first stop was to have breakfast with my long-time studio mate Emily, her fiancé Jake, and their new German Shepard pup Juniper. Yes with that name, she is as awesome and cute as you are imagining.

While conversing and eating egg sandwiches, Jake, who plays the guitar, mentioned a motto that he learned from an old teacher. I was immediately impressed by it.

It’s better to be strong and wrong than not heard and correct.
— Jake's guitar instructor

Now I am not a musician but these words can obviously be applied to almost anything. It gets at one of my biggest hurdles. Worrying too much about others’ judgment and potential rejection or criticism. Reminds me of how hindered people are learning a new language. I’m one of those people. We don’t want to sound stupid. But what then are we potentially missing out on?

Jake shared that when he was learning guitar, there were students who were very careful to be as perfect as possible. I totally get it and can relate. Unfortunately overthinking and feeling self-conscious hindered their energy and presence. Then there were students like Jake who eventually just went for it, made a lot of mistakes, but didn’t diminish themselves, and literally play it safe. He now applies this way of interacting with his life more broadly, and I think is very happy with the “risks taken” and the results.

This might not resonate with everyone, but it did with me. It’s another tool I can use to remind myself to quit playing small, take chances, and stop worrying so much about everyone else. They are a lot more focused on themselves than us anyway.

To take this further here are a few quotes from books that I read this year that for me enhance this sentiment.

Make use of the time you have to be the most effective, loving, giving, adventurous, passionate, committed, understanding, successful, creative human being you can muster until you are out of time. Be authentic. Make a life that inspires you. Try something, and if it doesn’t work, try something else. Explore being alive! What is my future telling me to do right now? Act on it!
— Stop Doing That Sh*t by Gary John Bishop
 
You don’t have to be tired. Get interested in something, get absolutely enthralled in something, throw yourself into it with abandon. Get out of yourself. Be somebody. Do something. Don’t sit around moaning about things. The more you get absorbed in something bigger than yourself the more energy you will have.
— The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale
My friend Elizabeth McQueen playing it strong and all out.

My friend Elizabeth McQueen playing it strong and all out.


Fahrenheit 451

Back in July of this year, I listened to two Ray Bradbury novels. Fahrenheit 451 and The Martian Chronicles. Most of the books I listen to and read are non-fiction, but I do like to take a break and listen to something more relaxing and entertaining at times. Especially science fiction and many of the classics that I have missed over the years. So far it’s been very rewarding.

The writing and story of Fahrenheit 451 were really enjoyable, and the narration was excellent. The main character Guy Montag is a fireman, not tasked with saving people's homes, but instead with burning all books, which in this dystopian future are banned. Eventually, his world opens up and he starts to question his actions, his society, and the value of the knowledge he’s destroying. 

When I am listening to books, if a phrase resonates with me, I will bookmark it and then later transcribe it into a document on my computer. The idea for this habit came from a few places. One is my desire to retain as much that is relevant to my life as possible and not just read or listen and forget everything. It’s interesting to me that I’m talking about trying to save this information from books, when at the end of Fahrenheit that is the overriding goal of the survivors, to remember literature. 

Author Ryan Holiday is a big proponent of something called the commonplace book. He describes it as a “central resource or depository for ideas, quotes, anecdotes, observations, and information you come across during your life and didactic pursuits. The purpose of the book is to record and organize these gems for later use in your life, in your business, in your writing, speaking, or whatever it is that you do.” So now I bookmark my books and have started carrying around a pen and field notes memo book in my back pocket to make sure I remember and record all of my ideas and observations. I always think I will remember but I don’t. My phone would work but that’s not as fun. The trick is then coalescing all of those notes and ideas into something greater. 

Fahrenheit 451
By Ray Bradbury

So let me share with you the quotes out of Fahrenheit 451 that I saved and why. All of them happen at the end of the book. The first one mainly because of my strong desire to buy land and live in the woods, much closer to nature than I ever have been. 24-7 forest bathing. This comes after Guy escapes the city into the country, maybe for the first time.

The more he breathed the land in, the more he was filled up with all the details of the land. He was not empty, there was more than enough here to fill him, there would always be more than enough.

These last two quotes are somewhat related in my mind. The ideas of living a full life with gratitude, making a positive difference, legacy, being the change you want to see, and your life contributing to a better world.

Stuff your eyes with wonder. Live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories
He shaped the world. He did things to the world. The world was bankrupted by ten million fine actions the night he passed on.

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