I Picked You A Flower Exhibition

Back in February and March, I was in a group show at the gallery Vault Stone Shop. Meghan who owns the space had asked if I wanted to create new images for the exhibition and be a part of it. I took up the challenge and as I explain in the statement for the work below, it became a personal project to test my edge when it comes to self-portraiture.

The theme was “A visual exploration of obsession, entanglement, growth, regrowth, grand gesture, gender expectation, and coded communication.” My focus was specifically on the use of different flowers and what they could communicate, along with body gestures, and obsession.

Eryngo, Red Tulips, Yellow Chrysanthemums, and Orange Roses became my selfie partners as I moved in and out of the frame of my camera, on a tripod, and at a slow shutter speed to somewhat blur my face and body. It was an experiment and took a lot of trial and error. If my neighbors could have looked in the window mid-session, they might have thought I was some kind of self-interested weirdo with a flower fetish. Understandable.

Out of the hundreds of images I took, there were five that I chose to exhibit at Meghan’s gallery, as 20 in × 14 prints on Cold Press Fine Art Paper. The rest have never been seen until now. Over the next four days of journal posts, I will share images from each flower type and group, which did not make it into the show. As I say in the statement, I really like how the work turned out.

I Picked You A Flower Statement

It is definitely a thrill to present these brand new images to you, after not having made any new work for many years. This is a big deal for me. Thankfully the theme of the exhibition and the deadline inspired me to take action. Why was my resistance so strong for so long? Is creating something new really that scary?

After doing some research I discovered Floriography, or the language of flowers. It refers to the meanings and stories that have been attributed to flowers over many thousands of years by all the cultures of the earth. Inspired by this history of symbolism, the words of books old and new, a strong love of rich color, and with a desire to push my photographic limits into self-portraiture, I created these images.

I have always had a love for flowers and nature, and have many times been on both sides of the heartache and confusion that can accompany courtship and love. My intention in relationships is to always be as straightforward and honest as possible. So in keeping with that intention towards my work, these images were mostly realized in camera and not on a computer. I’m delighted with how this work turned out and am excited to see where this new direction takes me.

Breath

This might sound like a weird thing to do, but after listening to Breath by James Nestor, I decided to try taping my mouth shut at night. That was the big takeaway for me, that mouth breathing deteriorates your health in many ways and should be avoided or corrected if possible. It was something I think I knew but it helped to hear it and the accompanying research to convince me to take action. So far, after quite a few nights forced to breathe only through my nose, I’ve been waking up feeling more alert and clear-headed. And my mouth is not dried out which is a bonus.

Growing up with asthma, I remember a long period of time when I slept with two fluffy pillows to keep my head raised high so I could breathe. My nose was often stuffed up and so breathing through my mouth always felt much safer and less stressful. If you know what an asthma attack feels like, you tend to like having no obstructions to your breathing. Taking a breath can either be an automatic action not even noticed or when restricted, stressful, and full of anxiety and tension. Might be one of the many reasons why I cry so much at the end of the movie The Elephant Man. Mr. Merrick had to prop himself up so he would not suffocate and die.

When I was twenty one I almost died from an asthma attack and had to be flown by helicopter to the hospital. The firefighters, who arrived first, nearly had to give me CPR, and I ended up on a ventilator for a few hours. So I have definitely thought a lot about my lungs and breathing. And around that same age, I had a major oral surgery to correct my under-bite and narrow upper palate. If I had it to do over again I might not go through with it. No doubt it was a traumatic thing for my head and body to endure, even though I was technically anesthetized.

I mostly blame asthma and mouth breathing through my developmental years for needing the surgery at all. When your tongue primarily stays at the bottom of your mouth as you are growing, it does not help to form your upper jaw and palate correctly. It’s not that I looked malformed, but my chin was more pronounced with an under-bite, my teeth did not line up properly, and my upper jaw was slightly recessed and narrow.

When I started writing this post, I did not intend to share as much as I have. Not sure why I feel a need to journal publicly about my life in this way, but I’m trusting that my inclination to do so is right and true.

X-ray where you can see the screws from my jaw surgery.

Plants Close-up

Back in April and May of this year I had the wonderful opportunity to live in Cedar Creek, just outside of Austin. The pandemic and quarantines were ramping up, and I needed a place to live. A very good friend offered their second home in the country. It’s a nice, solid, furnished house, on eight acres, fairly secluded. The timing was great for me since my work had slowed substantially. It was a chance to take a break from the previous non-stop train of events and work that I honestly did not know where it was all headed. Time to take a breather, and get grounded, and figure some things out.

There is more to say about that time, and what I learned, but today I would just like to share some images. Every day of those two months, I walked the long driveway from the front gate to the barn at the back of the property, over and over. I like to make sure I get in as many steps as I can each day. It’s not an obsessive-compulsive thing, just a desire to move and be healthy.

Along the way and through time I noticed many things changing. Some plants receded and seemed to disappear, while others grew and presented themselves anew. One of my favorite kinds of photography is Macro. You use a specific type of lens that can get closer than most, and magnify the details of the subject. For the past 15 years, I have been using macro lenses to create some of my best photos. Here are a few of those amazing plants that I saw one day. Details you might easily miss if not looking closely.

The One-Straw Revolution

On my way to work early this morning, I heard an NPR story about utilizing and increasing the awareness of plants that most people would call weeds. Plants that grow wild, but are often the progenitors of the domesticated vegetables most of us eat daily. It’s nice to hear a story like this that promotes awareness of plants that are mostly neglected or scorned as a nuisance. I’m a fan of volunteer plants.

My interest in plants and where our food comes from, has grown substantially since working at a farm. And within the last five years, I’ve also studied herbalism, survival, and primitive skills, and taken a permaculture design course. All efforts to essentially learn more about and be closer to nature. The NPR story reminded me of another famous farming book, The One-Straw Revolution by Masanobu Fukuoka. And I lucked out that it was available from the library right when I wanted to hear it.

After listening to the book, this video was fun to watch. Mr. Fukuoka practiced something called do-nothing natural farming. The gist of it is, doing the least amount of work, or anything that goes against what is natural. He found a way to farm that did not use any machines, chemicals, or outside inputs like compost or fertilizers. He did less work than his neighbors and had comparable yields. The most important aspect might be that he paid very close attention to what happened naturally and did not fight that.

The yearning that I felt while listening to his words, was to have my own plot of land. A place to live, and learn about, and evolve with. Ideally, I’d then be able to grow and eat a lot of my own whole foods, practice more cooking and canning and preserving, go foraging, and also grow medicinal plants. And just like he modeled, find a way of observing, respecting, and tuning in to the land and working with it and all of its complexity, instead of thinking I know better or that more technology is only the answer.

“When it is understood that one loses joy and happiness in the attempt to possess them, the essence of natural farming will be realized. The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings.

Fast rather than slow, more rather than less—this flashy “development” is linked directly to society’s impending collapse. It has only served to separate man from nature. Humanity must stop indulging the desire for material possessions and personal gain and move instead toward spiritual awareness.”
— The One-Straw Revolution by Masanobu Fukuoka

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DFW Commencement Speech

Found this David Foster Wallace speech today as an audiobook from the Austin Public Library, and really enjoyed it. Have a watch or listen. One of these days I might tackle Infinite Jest, his most famous book. It’s long! Over 1000 pages or 56 hours listening.

“Only once did David Foster Wallace give a public talk on his views on life, during a commencement address given in 2005 at Kenyon College. The speech is reprinted for the first time in book form in This is Water. How does one keep from going through their comfortable, prosperous adult life unconsciously? How do we get ourselves out of the foreground of our thoughts and achieve compassion? The speech captures Wallace’s electric intellect as well as his grace in attention to others. After his death, it became a treasured piece of writing reprinted in The Wall Street Journal and the London Times, commented on endlessly in blogs, and emailed from friend to friend. Writing with his one-of-a-kind blend of causal humor, exacting intellect, and practical philosophy, David Foster Wallace probes the challenges of daily living and offers advice that renews us with every reading. ”
— https://austin.bibliocommons.com/item/show/332453980

Draft Horse & Wendell Berry

“The concept of country, homeland, dwelling place becomes simplified as “the environment” — that is, what surrounds us. Once we see our place, our part of the world, as surrounding us, we have already made a profound division between it and ourselves. We have given up the understanding — dropped it out of our language and so out of our thought— that we and our country create one another, depend on one another, are literally part of one another; that our land passes in and out of our bodies just as our bodies pass in and out of our land; that as we and our land are part of one another, so all who are living as neighbours here, human, plant and animal are part of one another, and so cannot possibly flourish alone; that, therefore, our culture must be our response to our place, our culture and our place are images of each other and inseparable from each other, and so neither can be better than the other.”
— Wendell Berry, The Unsettling of America: Culture and Agriculture

Before being involved in the world of farming, I don’t think I’d ever heard of Wendell Berry. Maybe you haven’t yet either. Wikipedia lists him as an “American novelist, poet, essayist, environmental activist, cultural critic, and farmer.” Glad I know about him now. What a gift he has with words. This past week I finally listened to one of his books, The Unsettling of America, and was impressed. It’s the kind of book which shows you a different way to look at things with a big emphasis on critical thinking. I’ll be sharing more quotes from this book in future posts as I digest them.

As with Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari, it is thick with deep thoughts to ponder and reread. The kind of book that after a first pass, I’m inspired to buy a physical copy and go over it again, with patient, thoughtful, and concentrated examination. For me, these types of works feel valuable and worth trying to understand and hopefully integrate the information more permanently.

In the book, Mr. Berry defends the use of draft horse in farming and his passion for it reminded me of when I visited Sand Creek Farm in Cameron, TX in 2014. It was a magazine assignment from Acres USA, to photograph a working farm still using animals for plowing and other farm labor. They needed images for an upcoming issue about homesteading and small scale farming. Draft horse is not common these days, other than maybe with groups like the Amish, or for shows and competitions that keep it alive. Lucky that there was a great example of a working farm only a few hours from Austin. I was excited by the prospect of getting to see and learn about a different way of living and a time-honored practice.

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“The soil is the great connector of lives, the source and destination of all. It is the healer and restorer and resurrector, by which disease passes into health, age into youth, death into life. Without proper care for it we can have no community, because without proper care for it we can have no life.”
— Wendell Berry, The Unsettling of America: Culture and Agriculture

As I was driving there early before sunrise, a deer jumped in front of my car and totaled it. That was how the trip started, but after that it was wonderful. I spent the night at the farm and had a very enjoyable dinner with the owner Ben Godfrey and his family. Also, my friend Sarah who had worked at Johnson’s Backyard Garden was living and working there at the time, so it was nice to spend time with her. They gave me a tour of the whole operation which included, growing vegetables in the ground and with aquaponics in greenhouses, milking cows, making cheese, and the animals and equipment needed for draft horse. It was very nice of them to put in the time and complicated work of tacking up the animals and connecting them to plows, trailers, and carts. They demonstrated many of the various ways they used draft horse as I followed along with my camera to capture the story. See the photos below and the final Acres USA cover photo. Definitely one of my favorite jobs so far. You call this work?

It was exciting to be able to drive the horses down the road near the farm for a stretch. They are such powerful animals and so gentle and intelligent. I’ll not easily forget that experience any time soon. Not common at all where I come from! Thanks to Sarah for the photo, grabbed from Instagram.

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“When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound… I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.”
— Wendell Berry - The Peace of Wild Things

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“Old” Love Songs

Maybe I‘m a hopeless romantic. Maybe it’s just because I grew up listening to these songs. For whatever reason, I have been enjoying many YouTube song compilations. Something to listen to while working on my computer. Something I can sing along and sway and dance a bit in my seat. A lot of exaggerated gestures and passion with a few of them. The cheesy photo with the snow flurries makes me laugh. More fun and play and levity please!

How I Produce An Austin Enneagram Episode

Recording at Elizabeth’s gorgeous house. Two hosts, two in-person guests, and one on a computer through Zoom.

Recording at Elizabeth’s gorgeous house. Two hosts, two in-person guests, and one on a computer through Zoom.

Just produced another new episode for Elizabeth and Leigh over at Austin Enneagram. There was a new challenge this time since one of their guests was on Zoom. After doing some research I decided at the last minute to just allow Zoom to record the call on the computer while recording the guests in person with my equipment. Zoom allowed me to choose to save the audio of the remote guest on its own track. Luckily the audio had the same timing as my local recordings and matched up perfectly. It ended up sounding pretty good!

I’m already maxing out the capability of my Zoom H4N Pro recorder (not the same company), by recording 4 people at once using two XLR Male to Dual XLR Female Y-Cables connected to two Shure SM58 Dynamic Microphone’s for the guests, one Audio-Technica ATR2100x-USB Cardioid Dynamic USB/XLR Microphone for Leigh, and an Audio-Technica BPHS1 Broadcast Stereo Headset for Elizabeth. Essentially recording four separate voices onto two tracks. Adding another element I thought might be too much, but it worked out. Looking forward to a likely upgrade to a Zoom PodTrak P8 soon.

As I have stated previously, my goal and responsibility with any production is to make sure that I capture the best audio possible so a quality episode can be created and shared. With the recorded audio in hand, I first use Audacity to split the stereo track created by the H4N into two mono tracks so I can edit the different voices separately. Then I drag those files into Garageband to do the second by second editing, and then finally run the full-size AIFF audio file through web-based Auphonic for algorithmic leveling, normalization, and encoding to a 64 kbps mono MP3. Makes it sound great and fixes a lot of voice level issues.

In the case of Austin Enneagram, I then add the final episode MP3 file to their Squarespace website by creating a new post, writing a title and episode summary, transcribing a quote, and customizing all of the back end settings so that the episode will broadcast properly and look professional. I even provide photos taken during the recording for use on social media. If you have any questions about this process let me know. I’m not an audio engineer but I will do my best to share what I know.

If you’ve ever thought about having your own podcast, but don’t have the time or inclination to buy all of this equipment and deal with the technical learning curve, let me know. Check out my post from October 20th for more about this podcast.

Michael Anthony García

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Most often these days the freelance photography work that I get asked to do is related to the art world. Images of artwork in galleries and other related events. As is the case when the other day I heard from my friend, Austin artist Michael Anthony García. His work is up at Ivester Contemporary until January 9th, and he asked me to capture some images at the gallery. I love art and working in a gallery is a nice place to be. Check out the details of the exhibition, statement, and photos below.

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Project Space

OLAS DE PERTURBACÍON (WAVES OF PERTURBATION)

New Work by Michael Anthony García

December 5, 2020 - January 9, 2021

Reception & Performance: December 18, 7-10pm

“Olas de Perturbación (Waves of Perturbation), which features new work by Michael Anthony García, explores the perception and malleability of time through a lens of Latinx Futurism. It is an exploration of the artist’s personal history growing up in El Paso, Texas (unfulfilled past futures,) reminders for a future self and the potentiality in the present. Through video, sculpture, and installation, Michael Anthony García sifts through his youth growing up five blocks from the border, which was then an inconsequential line that barely registered physically or politically as a barrier to him. Now as an adult, possessing dual Mexican and US citizenship, he crosses the barrier of time--the only thing standing between him and the memories--to guide himself to/ using his current understanding.”

Here is also an interview I did with Michael almost three years ago. That might sound out of date but as with most of my interviews, I ask a lot of questions about a person’s origin story and how they became an artist. Michael is one of the most innovative, passionate, and courageous artists I know. His performances are especially moving and poignant, often addressing issues of inequality, and the inherent humanity deserving of all people. His vulnerability and integrity always play a central role.

“My practice manifests itself through performance, sculpture, installation, photography, video and the blurred areas between them, engaging via my own personal stories and experiences navigating the human condition. Much of my work explores my layers of identity, how they shape me and affect my perception of/ by the world, in a political expression of Latinx Futurism founded in emotion, and utopian projection.”
— Michael Anthony García
An portrait I made of Michael at his Continental Divide Exhibition.

An portrait I made of Michael at his Continental Divide Exhibition.

Maya Angelou

There are many names of famous people that I have heard most of my life, and I don’t really know that much about them. At least not like you learn when you listen to someone tell the stories of their life. What a special opportunity with an autobiography to hear about someone else’s experiences, thoughts, and growth, in a personal way that allows you to see who they are and why. You get a glimpse of a life outside of your own and I think that fosters compassion and understanding.

As is the case with this first of seven autobiographies by Maya Angelou, which covers her youth up until age 17 when she gives birth to her son. From growing up in a small segregated southern town in the strict home of her grandmother, to the multiple locations of her father and mother’s separated lives, she had quite a lot of diverse experiences. One in particular that caught my ear was the month she lived in an automobile junkyard with an honest and organized group of homeless teenagers. That short amount of time-shifted many of her perspectives and gave her some important lessons. There is just something exciting to me about the idea of such a short amount of time, if spent in the right place with the right people, how that could really change your life. I welcome that kind of influence and adventure.

There are many great quotes in this book. The following is one that stood out as it might be just as relevant now, even though it was referring to people in the 1930’s.

“The Black female is assaulted in her tender years by all those common forces of nature at the same time that she is caught in the tripartite crossfire of masculine prejudice, white illogical hate and Black lack of power.

The fact that the adult American Negro female emerges a formidable character is often met with amazement, distaste and even belligerence. It is seldom accepted as an inevitable outcome of the struggle won by survivors and deserves respect if not enthusiastic acceptance.”
— I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

Exploring The Armory

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While writing my post yesterday about Mueller, I was reminded of when back in 2012, I photographed the former National Guard Armory buildings. They had mostly been sitting empty I assume since the old airport closed, and that year the bond money was approved to renovate. It was not easy to get permission, but after some persistence, I was able to spend a few hours walking freely around the complex. My idea was to capture images of it exactly as it looked at that time, knowing that once it was completely renovated, a lot of the original and well-worn charm and details would be lost. Maybe someone would then like to hang some of those photos in the new space for nostalgic or artistic purposes? The intention was to be more proactive and create opportunities.

Come to find out after some searching, it is now called the Creative Media Center at Austin Studios plus Stage 7. The ribbon-cutting for the completion was almost one year ago. I honestly had forgotten all about it until now. So I dug up the photos and thought I would share my favorites with you. My photographic eye is reliably most drawn to color, texture, and line, and I search for framing that creates something more abstract than representative. Human use, time, non-use, and the elements all conspire to wear down anything man-made. Observing and capturing these kinds of artifacts, visual stories, and abandoned places is something I find enjoyable.

“The Austin Studios Expansion project is a collaboration between City of Austin and the Austin Film Society. As a part of the 2012 Bond, the City of Austin allocated $5.4 million for adaptive reuse of a 75,000 sf former armory building into a new Creative Media Center at Austin Studios. The Creative Media Center provides a collaborative environment for film and creative media makers, producers, and vendors. The project includes major renovation, construction of a new paseo and landscaped courtyards, site access and parking lot reconfiguration, security improvements, and major campus utilities work. Interior spaces include collaborative workspaces, flexible meeting rooms, tenant office spaces, and production facilities.”
— austinfilm.org

The Armory building complex as it looked in 2012.

Mueller Lake Park

The old Robert Mueller Municipal Airport air traffic control tower, built in 1961.

One of the places that I visit many times a week here in Austin, to walk and be in more of a natural setting is Mueller Lake Park. The park is a small part of the whole Mueller development which started after the old airport closed and moved out to the former location of Bergstrom Air Force Base, which closed in 1993. It seems like so long ago now, but I definitely remember taking flights out Robert Mueller Municipal Airport, and also visiting the airbase while in High School Air Force Jr ROTC. So much has changed in Austin since I first moved here in 1983 with my parents. It’s mostly unrecognizable compared to what it was back then.

Now at Mueller, where there used to be huge runways, a terminal, and parking lots, is a massive housing development, stores, parks, a children’s hospital, and various other venues. The plan for it has slowly been carried out and built over the last 20 years and seems to be getting near completion.

There are only a few artifacts left from the old airport opened in 1930, and rebuilt in 1961, which before that was farmland. There is a large bow-trussed hangar where they have the farmer’s market and a food court. And then there is the original air traffic control tower, which I think is an aesthetically interesting Jet Age structure. Back in 2012, the Austin Film Society hired me to photograph the tower to create an image for their Christmas card that year. I do hope the city does something cool with the tower eventually. So far it’s just been sitting alone in an empty field. We will see!

“The 700-acre Mueller site, vacated when Austin’s airport relocated in 1999, is well on its way to becoming home to approximately 14,300 people, 14,500 employees, 10,500 construction jobs, 4 million square feet of office and retail, more than 6,200 homes and 140 acres of public open space. Mueller is an award-winning master planned and designed community, and in accordance with new urbanist principles.”
— muelleraustin.com/about/

Back In Texas

This is the only photo I have to document my 1300 mile drive back to Texas from Florida. It was taken at the first rest stop once you enter the state from Louisiana. Might have been the stop with a gang of sweet feral cats, can’t remember.

I’m glad to be home. And I’m glad I went, even though traveling right now might not seem like a good idea. Flying wasn’t an option at this time. The trip for me was worth the distance and effort, to get to see my family for Thanksgiving. We were as safe as we could be. I don’t want to live in a bubble. And I don’t want to put others at risk. It’s a stressful balance to maintain. Let’s hope it all works out for the best.

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Out To Okeechobee

How I wish that I had better photos to share all that I saw today. I went on a half-day road trip out west from Palm Beach to Lake Okeechobee. The most interesting moment was driving by a sugar cane field with 15 foot high flames, a monstrous plume of smoke you could see for miles, and an almost alarming amount of heat that wafted into my open window as I drove by. After doing some research I discovered how controversial it is. If you are curious there are two recent articles that I found at the Claims Journal and the Miami Herald websites. According to one article, there are 400,000 acres of sugar cane in Florida. Wow!

DuPuis Management Area, Canal Point, FL.

My first stop was the DuPuis Management Area where I went on a short hike. When I got there the parking lot was empty but upon leaving there was a gentleman resting against the map and information stand. Was not expecting to meet a retired motorcycle enthusiast taking a rest on his daily ride out in the country. We had a nice conversation and he recommended that I check out “the lock” just down the road. The lock helps maintain the water level for Lake Okeechobee, Florida’s 730 square mile Inland Sea, as boats leave or enter the canal to and from the lake. There’s a canal cut across the entire state to allow small boats passage. Turns out the Port Mayaca Lock & Dam is one of the few places you can get a good look at the lake since it is mostly hidden by a 40 ft. dike of earth and rock all along its perimeter. A historical sign next to a cemetery on the road to the lake gave a clue as to why such a large dike is necessary. In 1928 a storm surge broke through the then 6.6-foot dike and as many as 2500 people were killed.

Lake Okeechobee as seen from just south of the Port Mayaca Lock & Dam.

Being a farm photographer for so many years I now have a decent fascination for agriculture and get interested when I see farms and crops outside of my bubble. My route driving back toward the coast was somewhat random and it showed me two new types of farming I had not seen before. The sugar cane I mentioned already being the first. Found myself following a few semi-trucks with big caged trailers full of just harvested, and probably burned, sugar cane. The full ones heading towards a large industrial looking plant in the distance, and the empty ones heading back out for another load. No doubt a monolithic business.

The second type of farm I saw and was surprised by was turf. So many times I have seen a new housing development getting a delivery of pallets of grass to create someone’s new yard. Can’t say that I ever really thought about where it came from. As you can see from the picture below, there are literally 100’s of acres of mowed grass right next to the sugar cane fields. I watched as a specialized tractor cut up the strips of lawn and a few workers stacked it on pallets. One company’s website states they “offer muck-grown St. Augustine sod farmed on our fields throughout Western Palm Beach County.” Who knew!

Turf Farm along Old Conner’s Hwy heading southeast from Canal Point, FL., with a burning sugar cane field far in the distance.

Photos below: Top left- My trusty Mazda 3. Top right- Sugar cane field. Bottom right- The soil in this area is so very dark! Bottom left- If you’ve been to FL. you’ve seen the canals literally everywhere. They might be the reason this place is not all swampland.