This post will be a compilation of a bunch of thoughts and connections I am trying to make, in my ongoing quest to be more aware of myself, figure out how to move past my limitations, find more peace and joy, and add value to the world, or at least reduce the amount of suffering. I definitely don’t think too much! I’ll try to make this short but there is a lot to say.

If you are a fan of Bill Murray, you’ve probably heard the stories of him showing up at parties, or inserting himself into people’s lives for a few minutes or hours, injecting a lot of joy, laughter, and presence into any situation. The documentary I have included in this post is about exactly that. The director Tommy Avallone chases down the validity of the stories and Bill himself, and eventually through interviews in many different cities, compiles snippets of the life philosophy that likely drives Mr. Murray to do what he does. As Bill states in one interview, he’d “like to see how long he can last at being really here, you know really in it, really alive and in the moment.”

A possible origin of Bill’s attitude, surmised in the doc, is his years of doing improv. One tenet or rule of most improv schools is the Yes, And. When you are improvising a scene in front of an audience, there is much more potential to entertain and create momentum if you agree and build on what others suggest, as opposed to negating it and sticking with your own direction and ideas. It’s about being creative in the moment and open to any possibility.

When living in NYC I took a few improv classes at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade theater and did perform at the end of one class, on the main stage. It was a ton of fun. While studying I frequented the theater and saw dozens of live improv shows. I’ve probably never laughed harder in my life, before or since. And through the classes and watching the pros perform, I learned about this Yes, And approach. And now there are books that have turned that improv lesson into an approach to living life. You open up and say yes to what comes your way, and you add something positive to it moving the narrative forward in an exciting and unpredictable way.

A good friend gave me some valuable feedback recently. She said most of the time when I greet her I don’t smile or seem very excited about the meeting. It’s so valuable to get these honest reflections, giving you a perspective outside of yourself. What she said made me realize how much I’m like my dad, often stoic, serious, and hard to read. That is just not how I want to be and that is not the energy I want to bring into the world. It’s very likely a way that I believe I’m protecting myself from criticism and rejection, trying not to be open and vulnerable to the world. It’s the opposite of Yes, And. It’s shut down and don’t be seen. And it’s the opposite of reality. The more vulnerable people get, from what I’ve seen, the more powerful they are. If you’ve ever witnessed someone fully open up and share their pain and truth, it’s very moving and impressive. You see great strength and courage.

Tim Ferriss, whose podcast I like very much, recently stated one of his goals for 2021 was to be more playful and mischievous, in a fun and positive way. Sounds like Bill Murray. I as well have a desire to be less rigid, with fewer limiting beliefs and limiting stories about who I am and what is possible. More playful and open. The source escapes me, but something else I heard last week that fits in with these intentions is the idea of making whoever is in front of you the most important person. Being truly present to the moment with whoever and whatever you are engaging with. There is also this practice of saying in your head or out loud when you meet someone, “I’m so happy to see you!” You make a practice of generating and exuding excitement for people and for life. So what does all that I’ve said here add up to? Like Bill says, his goal is to be in life, and in the moment. For me, all of this points to Yes, And-ing more moments, to creating an open and engaged life, appreciating and connecting with others, and gratitude for this opportunity to exist right now. I’m not saying it’s easy or even possible to make every moment count and always be present, but I do think it’s a good intention to have.

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